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Everything posted by smb
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London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense:
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Women Drivers! This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph With her Face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner. I looked away For a couple seconds ! And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane, Still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, Which knocked The donut Out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying To straighten out the car Using my knees against The steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Damn women drivers!!
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Breeding Bulls A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR" The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year." They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, " "THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR" The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him." They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR" The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said,"That's once a day.You could REALLY learn something from this one The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow."
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THE BEST COMEBACK LINE for 2007... For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!' General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? GENERAL COSGROVE: We're going to teach them climbing, canoing, archery and shooting. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers. GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended.
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Oooo!! Nice! -
Hi! Welcome to artfreaks.com - and thanks for the tips! I just got back home, after a couple of months work and I hope to be getting back into painting soon. I can't wait!! I'll give you're suggestions a try and see if it works for me? (To be honest, I think the overstated shading and ridiculously bright colors suite my character - and that is what I am happy with!! Anyway, it certainly wouldn't hurt to try a different technique and I'll certainly give it a go...) By the way, I hope you can avail of your free gallery space for amateur and professional artists and upload some of your work. (I want to see how this more subtle shading thing works!!!)
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From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
From the album: Gone Fishing
Filipino fishermen hauling their nets in the early morning. The local, wooden fishing boats with outriggers are know as "bangka," in this part of the Philippines. Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever, berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas - early morning, Feb. 01 2008 -
Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty in Bauan, Batangas, Philippines - early morning, Feb. 01 2008
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Photo taken from aboard c.s. Cable Retriever berthed at the Global Marine Systems Ltd. cable depot jetty - early morning, Feb. 01 2008
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Thanks for setting up your own blog at artfreaks.com I'm looking forward to seeing some more of your poetry in here. Keep it coming!
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Nice work! Thanks for posting these.
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From a former member, nicbrun77: I can only say what works for me... I have only tried pencil drawings and pastel paintings so far. The pastels, I always photograph before framing behind glass. (In the case of an oil painting, I would photograph the thing before applying any vanish?) I always take the photographs outdoors - in a bright spot but out of direct sunlight. I make sure that the flash is turned off and I am not casting a shadow on the painting. If there is enough, well-diffused light, I don't think you need a tripod - just try to hold the camera reasonably steady while you press the shutter. The cameras that most people are using these days all have auto-focus... If you are using auto-focus, usually you have to depress the shutter half way, keep it like that for a second or two, in order to allow the focusing mechanism to do its thing - and THEN press the shutter all the way. Lastly, before taking the shot, I make sure that the camera is positioned exactly on the axis of the centre of the painting and not skewed at an angle. Oh! And then you really need to use any simple photo editing software, just to crop your image before uploading. It also helps if you can reduce your image file size to about 350Kb or less so that it doesn't take forever to upload. (I use U-lead Photo Explorer - both for cropping and reducing the image size. Mine came with the camera - but I believe if you do a search on Google, you can down-load U-Lead Photo Explorer for free?) 'Hope this helps!
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From former member, nicbrun77: I can only say what works for me... I have only tried pencil drawings and pastel paintings so far. The pastels, I always photograph before framing behind glass. (In the case of an oil painting, I would photograph the thing before applying any vanish?) I always take the photographs outdoors - in a bright spot but out of direct sunlight. I make sure that the flash is turned off and I am not casting a shadow on the painting. If there is enough, well diffused light, I don't think you need a tripod - just try to hold the camera reasonably steady while you press the shutter. The cameras that most people are using these days all have auto-focus... If you are using auto-focus, usually you have to depress the shutter half way, keep it like that for a second or two, in order to allow the focusing mechanism to do its thing - and THEN press the shutter all the way. Lastly, before taking the shot, I make sure that the camera is positioned exactly on the axis of the center of the painting and not skewed at an angle. Oh! And then you really need to use any simple photo editing software, just to crop your image before uploading. It also helps if you can reduce your image file size to about 350Kb or less, so that it doesn't take for ever to upload. (I use U-lead Photo Explorer - both for cropping and reducing the image size. Mine came with the camera - but I believe if you do a search on Google, you can down-load U-Lead Photo Explorer for free?) 'Hope this helps!
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c.s. Pacific Guardian with some of the guys out on deck, braving atrocious weather in order to try and secure some mushroom anchors that had broken loose. This was the big storm that "Pac-G" endured on her first attempt at repairing the CANTAT-3 submarine telecoms cable in the North Atlantic, off the Grand Banks of Newfoundland in January, 2007 I was not there, (fortunately!) - So I definitely was not the photographer. (If whoever took thi sphoto would like to post a comment or send me an e-mail, I would be glad to give the credit where it is due!)
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